Yesterday I took our now dried and brittle Christmas tree and placed it on the curb in front of our home. It wasn’t alone out there as many of our neighbors had recently done the same. Even though Christmas is over, it’s still a sad sight to see all the once beautiful Christmas trees waiting now out in the cold to be picked up and taken away.
There is a lesson I find in these discarded trees that applies to a favorite activity this time of year, the making of New Year’s resolutions. Trees die quickly once they are cut off from their roots, and the same is true of resolutions. If we only focus on the what we want to change rather than the underlying why, there is a good chance our resolve to change will not last. Connecting with the why we want to change something helps us to connect with the deeper emotional or spiritual reasons that we want to grow, which is different and ultimately more important than merely making the change. The above quote from John Maxwell captures this well: “Find your why and you’ll find your way.”
A parent, for example, who wants to change their critical tone with their child is more likely to make that change if they first reconnect with their love for their child, and their deep emotional and spiritual awareness that their child is a gift and worthy of respect. A desire to make a healthy lifestyle change will have a higher chance of succeeding when it is grounded in a higher purpose, such as wanting to have more energy to bring to work, service to others, or to share with friends and family.
Many people who follow a spiritual path seek to make changes in their lives on an ongoing basis and not just at the beginning of a new year. They hope that these changes will more fully align their lives with their spiritual ideals, such as loving their neighbor, caring for the environment, seeking peace and reconciliation in the world, or living with greater kindness and patience toward others. Spirituality focuses on the why of our lives, which in turn gives rise to the what and the way of the specific changes we seek to make.
We at Living Compass wish you all a Happy New Year. And if you are thinking about making a change as we start this new year, we encourage you first to take some time to reflect on why you want to make that change. Connecting with the deeper spiritual and emotional reasons you want to change will not only help you clarify what you want to change, but will greatly increase the likelihood that the change you seek will not end up being discarded along with your Christmas tree.
Article by The Rev. Dr. D. Scott Stoner, Living Compass
