Recent concerns about the coronavirus remind us of just how connected we all are to each other, and how quickly a virus can spread. Here in the North, it is winter, which means it is also cold and flu season. This means that on any given day, we are either the one with a cold or we are likely encountering someone that has a cold. So the question that is never far from our minds is, “Am I or is he/she—contagious?”
When I have a cold, I certainly never intentionally want to spread it to others. At the same time, though, I sometimes am so excited to see someone that I haven’t seen for a while that I hug them or shake their hand without thinking. I have also been known to show up at work when I am sick, only to be sent home by colleagues who rightfully request that I not come back until I am no longer contagious.
We, of course, know that illnesses like a cold or the flu can easily spread if we are not careful. What we may not have given as much thought to is the fact that emotional illnesses or “dis-eases” can spread just as easily as physical ones.
Have you been part of a group where the leader was chronically negative and critical? I would guess the morale and spirit of the rest of the group eventually became negative and deflated. Compare that to how good it feels to be part of a group when the leader is positive and supportive. All of this shows how strongly our moods and spirits affect one another.
I coached youth soccer when our kids were growing up, and I remember playing several games against a team whose coach was a screamer, always yelling critical comments at his players. It is not surprising that the players on that team yelled at each other, as well as at the referee, more than any other team we ever played. Again, the spirit of the leader was contagious.
A quote attributed to Maya Angelou comes to mind here. “People will not often remember what you said, but they will almost always remember how you made them feel.” The wisdom of this quote is especially true in our families and our closest friendships. Because these relationships are so close, our spirit and our moods are easily passed to those we love.
Our negativity, bad moods, cynicism, and critical spirits are indeed contagious. That’s the bad news. The good news, though, is that our positive attitudes, our joy, peace, humor, love, and happiness are also contagious. We can as just as easily “infect” people around us with our positive energy as we can with our negative energy.
So when it comes to our emotional wellness or lack thereof, the answer to the question, “Are you and I contagious?” is always, “Yes, we are!” The more important question then becomes, “What kind of emotional energy are we spreading to our loved ones, friends, and the wider community?”
Article by The Rev. Dr. D. Scott Stoner, Living Compass
