Beloved in God and Thomas the Apostle:
How are you doing? No, really, how are you doing these days? In these very strange days in which all of us are experiencing levels of stress greatly increased due to the events in our country and due to the ongoing, seemingly endless pandemic which has changed all of our lives jarringly and dramatically, how are we? I ask the question of you who read this because it seems important to me for everyone of us to give careful thought to our answer. How are we doing?
Part of our answer centers on what we are doing to “protect” ourselves from the onslaught of the incoming “missiles” bearing yet more and more stressful news. Because the world today is “connected” electronically, hardly anything happening anywhere in the world escapes our knowing it. I long to not know much of what the electronic connection makes me aware of. I long for that because, in my case, my emotional and spiritual and physical well-being work better when I do not have to know everything about everything, when I can “let go” and adopt the attitude of a “guilty by-stander” to quote Merton. All of this is happening, but I do not have to be in the middle of all of it, thanks be. It does not depend on me. Or you.
Think how easy it is to be riveted to the television when it is showing you events like those of January 6th at the US Capitol. Much like 9/11, probably most all Americans were glued to their television sets watching in disbelief and horror at the the events as they played out. Turning it off, turning away, seemed that day impossible…as it did on 9/11. While it is no longer January 6th, many of us, I would guess, are still glued to the unfolding events following that day…still unable to detach as if by watching we might have some impact or, at least, not miss something that must not be missed.
But, giving yourself permission to turn it off may be a step toward greater health. We do not need to know everything. We do not need to see or hear the latest commentary on the 24 hour news cycle. If something important does happen, we will find out about it one way or the other without finding out by leaving our television sets on to not miss “something.” How we are doing may depend to a great extent on how we are protecting ourselves from the avalanche of incoming troubling news. Can we turn it off?
One of my seminary classmates had rigged his light switch to also turn on his radio (there was a time when people listened to the radio) on entering his dorm room. At first, this seemed clever…until I figured out that he could not stand to be “alone” and used the sounds coming from the radio to protect himself from being with himself. The words were a distraction to keep him from feeling what “alone” meant in his life. It was years before I began to realize my own ways of avoiding myself. Many of us are so uncomfortable in our own skin that we use a variety of methods to anesthetize ourselves, preventing self-knowledge and thereby preventing our being our best selves in relationship to others.
How we control the incoming “missiles” of disturbing news seems, to this priest, important for everyone. So much “bad” news happens every day. So much anxiety lands in our chests due to the worry about what is happening or what might happen next. Can we strive to adopt the position of Merton and be the “guilty bystanders,” not embroiled in the messes around us, caring, but not having to see and know absolutely everything “first hand?”
So, how are you doing with all of this? More, what are you doing to protect your soul, your mind and your heart from the worst of it? Can you turn it off and listen to the silence? Instead of listening to and watching the 24 hour news cycle, turn it off and listen instead to a CD that commands your attention. Take a walk without earbuds. Go for a walk like our Rector does. That may be the healthiest thing he does for himself to clear his mind and “breathe.” Use his example of getting away from the incoming information…the World will still be there when you pick it back up.
How are you doing? What might you do to “be” better at self-care? All of us should examine how we handle these days to survive and flourish.
Stephen Waller
