Christian Formation

In the middle of a Zoom call that my wife and I recently had with some friends, I had a genuine aha moment, one that reminded me of an important lesson I had learned years ago. Knowing that my wife is an avid reader, my friends asked her what she was currently reading. She explained that she has just finished an excellent book entitled, The Housekeeper and the Professor, written by Yoko Ogawa. Our friends were curious to hear more, and so they asked her lots of follow up questions. The more questions they asked, the more details she shared. And that is when I had my aha moment. After we ended our call, I shared my insight with my wife. I explained that I had, of course, noticed her reading the book about which she had just been talking. Until the Zoom call with our friends, though, I hadn’t…

There have been occasions during this pandemic when I have been less response-able than I wish I had been. Note that I wrote response-able, not responsible. It’s the former, not the latter, that I have struggled with on occasion. I define response-able as the capacity to respond calmly and thoughtfully to others even when under pressure, rather than mindlessly reacting, in a way that is rarely helpful. Stress significantly increases the chances of our being reactive, and there has been no shortage of pressure in most of our lives and our world lately. There is a significant difference between reacting and responding to stress. When we are reactive, we often feel out of control and then typically blame someone else, or something other than ourselves, for our reactivity. “If you hadn’t said that, I wouldn’t have reacted that way,” is a common excuse—certainly one I have used myself at times….

September is National Recovery Month. Through the years, I have been inspired and learned so much from my friends in recovery. Recently several of them have shared with me that what they have learned in their journey of recovery is serving them well as they now face the many losses and challenges brought about by the pandemic. A few weeks ago, a friend told me that he printed the first three lines of the Serenity Prayer, a prayer that is beloved by many people in recovery, and posted them next to his computer. Because his work requires him to spend so much time on his laptop, these words are a constant reminder to accept the limits of what he can control and what he cannot. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference….

In 1959 Miles Davis and a group of musicians recorded the album Kind of Blue, which became the best-selling and one of the most influential jazz albums of all time. The remarkable thing about this album is that the musicians had very little preparation time, not knowing what they would be playing until they walked into the studio to record. The original liner notes for the album said that the musicians were only given a few scales and melody lines on which they were to improvise. There were no rehearsals beforehand. All of this was by design to create a genuinely spontaneous, improvised experience co-created in the moment. And the results of what happened in that studio in 1959 are captured in the words of musician Carlos Santana, “They went into the studio with minimal stuff, and came out with eternity.” While you have quite likely heard of Miles Davis,…

Whenever I begin a process of counseling with a person, couple, or family they almost always say something like this in the first meeting, “I/we should have started this conversation years ago. I/we have known ‘this” was a problem for a long time and guess I/we somehow believed that it would simply go away or get better on its own if ignored.” The “this” they are referring to is whatever issue it is that has brought them to counseling. The “this” of course varies, but could include issues such as a growing tension or distance in a relationship, unhappiness at work, concern about a drinking problem, concern about issues related to sleep or eating, worry about a child, a health or financial concern that has been ignored, or sometimes a growing spiritual crisis. I am reminded of the proverb stating, “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years…

I am blessed to know many educators. They are some of the hardest working, most dedicated, and compassionate people I know. My wife was a teacher for many years, having taught in elementary, middle, and high schools over the years. And so I know first hand about the long hours teachers put in, and how much they give of themselves to help our children grow and learn. A call to be a teacher is truly a vocation, and those who answer that call deserve our utmost appreciation. All that I wrote above is what I said about the work of teachers before the pandemic. Teachers, students, administrators, support staff, and parents are now all facing unimaginable decisions and challenges, as students of all ages try to figure out how to return or head off to school. One teacher friend of mine summed up the experience so far this year with…

Spending time in nature has been my solace during this pandemic. One of my favorite places to visit is the University of Wisconsin Arboretum in Madison, Wisconsin, a 1,260 acre preserved area that serves as a research and teaching site for ecological restoration. The Arboretum was founded in 1932, and its first director of research was the famous naturalist author Aldo Leopold who lived in Madison at that time. Leopold’s most famous book, A Sand County Almanac, has sold over 2 million copies. I first read this eye-opening book as an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin. It forever changed how I view the importance of land preservation and our interconnectedness with the natural world. I even remember taking my copy of the book to read when I visited the UW Arboretum some forty years ago. A quote from A Sand County Almanac seems especially appropriate to our current time,…

“Traveller, the path is your tracks And nothing more. Traveller, there is no path The path is made by walking. By walking you make a path And turning, you look back At a way you will never tread again Traveller, there is no road Only wakes in the sea.” I have always loved these lines written by the early twentieth-century Spanish poet Antonio Machado. A slightly different version of the third line is one I often share with people these days, “We make the path by walking.” As the pandemic grinds on, losses are piling up for all of us. Staying with the image of a path, we have all experienced a few, or maybe even many paths in our lives that have been changed, blocked, or ended. Weddings, graduations, vacations, reunions have been canceled, are dramatically changed, jobs have been lost, health concerns have increased, and loved ones have…