Christian Formation

Take a moment to bring to mind some people who have inspired you, and who have had a significant, positive impact on your life. As you reflect on who came to mind just now, whether they were a parent, friend, sister, brother, family member, teacher, coach, boss, spiritual leader, or political leader, I imagine that there is something they all have in common—each of them was a person of integrity. The word integrity shares the same root as the word integration. A person with integrity has a high degree of integration between what they say and how they live. Such a person “walks the talk” and embodies in their actions what they say with their words. Integrity is based on the highest spiritual values of what it means to live a good life, transcending political, religious, and other differences. People from different perspectives will be open to listening to and…

In 1996, psychologist Roy Bauermeister conducted a fascinating experiment on will power. He invited a large group of people into a room filled with the smell of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. He sat them at tables and then brought to each table two bowls. One bowl contained radishes and the other chocolate chip cookies. Half of the people were told they could eat only the radishes and to use their will power to avoid eating any of the cookies. The other half of the group were told they could skip the radishes and eat as many cookies as they wished. Ten minutes later, everyone was led to another room where they were given (unknown to them at the time) an unsolvable geometry problem. The group of people who had just eaten the cookies worked an average of nineteen minutes trying to solve the problem before giving up. The group of…

“Acting tough is about external appearances. It involves creating a persona that convinces other people you’re impervious to pain. True mental strength involves working on your character. Mentally strong people are willing to be vulnerable, and quite often, people confuse their openness and honesty with frailty.” – Amy Morin We live in uncertain times that present daily challenges to our emotional well-being. If you are wondering how to cultivate the mental strength to move forward, I recommend an insightful book by psychotherapist Amy Morin. Her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success might be helpful. If reading a whole book on emotional well-being creates more stress, then you will be pleased to know you can find the “Cliff Notes” version of her book in an article she wrote for Inc.—you can read…

“Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly, and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.” – Lori Deschene I was reminded of the power of pausing while riding my road bike earlier today as I was climbing some very steep hills. (Yes, I am aware that I write a lot about what I experience and learn while on my bike. It is where I spend a lot of time these days and do some of my best thinking.) As I neared the top of an exceptionally long and steep hill, I looked down at my bike computer and saw that my heart rate monitor was reading 156 beats per minute. My elevated heart rate, along with the high temperature and humidity, gave me reason to pause – literally. I found some cool shade, drank some water,…

The title for this column is a lyric from the blockbuster musical Hamilton, written by Lin-Manuel Miranda and based on biography Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow. The musical won eleven Tony Awards in 2016, as well as the Pulitzer Prize for Drama that same year. And just in time for the Fourth of July this year, Hamilton is being released on Disney Plus. I am a fan in awe of this musical, and I could not be more excited. The story of Alexander Hamilton mirrors the story of the founding of our country, a mixture of founding ideals, genius, infighting, and imperfection, all of which are on full display. This same mixture continues today, as America is still an unfinished symphony. Hamilton reminds us of the power of ideals, as well as the power of a guiding vision. It is these ideals that we remember every year as a nation…

Most years, I write a column about the annual rite of passage that so many people and their extended families participate in this time of year— graduations. This year is no different, yet everything is very different. I spent a few hours this week online reading the stories of graduates describing what it has been like to graduate during a pandemic. I also talked with several parents whose sons and daughters are graduating from either high school or college at the momentous time. I even spoke with my grandson, who graduated virtually from kindergarten. What I read and heard can be summed up in two words: grief and gratitude. The grief that graduates are experiencing is palpable. Not being able to attend a traditional graduation ceremony was undoubtedly at the top of the list of disappointments for high school and college seniors. Some of the other losses that were mentioned…

St. John’s Episcopal Church in Washington, DC, located immediately across from the White House, has been prominently featured in the news this week. Those of us who are members of the Episcopal Church (as I have been the entire sixty-four years of my life) took particular note. For those unfamiliar with the Episcopal Church, one of the things we are known for is the beautiful and poetic language of our Book of Common Prayer. There is one particular prayer from our prayerbook that has been on my mind this week. That prayer is the Prayer of Confession, and I pray it these days as a confession of my own failure to address the sin of racism more fully in my life. From my personal and professional experience, I know that an honest accounting of one’s shortcomings and blind spots is at the heart of authentic spirituality. This is a truth…

Have you ever visited General Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee, Wisconsin? It’s my hometown airport and so I pass through it often (although not lately, of course). If you visited our airport, you have likely had the opportunity to experience one of its kind “Recombobulation Area” The pride of having this unique place for people to gather themselves and their belongings after they pass through airport security is so famous that you can even buy a “Recombobulation T-Shirt,” at the airport gift shop. The photo at the top of the column is a close-up photo of one of those T-Shirts. I have thought about the airport sign several times this week-not because I have returned to a busy travel schedule (I am still fully sheltered in place and working from home). I thought about it because, in several conversations I’ve been a part of over the past few days, the…

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly — spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.” Susan Taylor My soul was renewed this past week by the gift of spending time with our two grandsons. They are ages six and four, and the wonder and curiosity they express about virtually everything around them are infectious. I recently made up something I named the “quiet game” that we play together, one that builds on their innate sense of delight and curiosity. In this game, I set a timer for anywhere from thirty seconds to a minute, and the rules are that we all have to be completely quiet, listening to all the sounds that we hear in the silence. When the timer goes off, everyone takes turns naming the sounds they heard. The beauty of this game is that we…