Christian Formation

I am married to a former teacher. I have recently been thinking about the idea of the “hidden curriculum,” a concept I learned from her quite a few years ago. This concept refers to lessons and values that students learn, sometimes unintended because they are not directly part of the subject being taught in the curriculum. This could include planning ahead, getting along with others, the importance of honesty, and other important lessons related to values and character. I thought about the idea of the hidden curriculum in light of how all of us, adults and children, are currently being homeschooled in the midst of the current pandemic. I began to reflect on what unintended lessons I am learning in the midst of my own at home learning experience. I’m guessing you are learning a few lessons of your own, and thus I will invite you near the end of…

Can you guess what the following locations from around the world have in common? Santa Monica, CA New Orleans, Louisiana Amsterdam, Netherlands Zuni, New Mexico Toulouse, France Rio De Janeiro, Brazil Moscow, Russia Caracas, Venezuela The Congo Guguletu, South Africa Barcelona, Spain Umlazi, South Africa Pisa, Italy Mamelodi, South Africa Given what’s going on in the world, you may have guessed that they are locations where people have tested positive for COVID-19. In fact, they are all places from which musicians around the world came together virtually to make an inspiring recording of the 1961 classic song, “Stand By Me.” We all have practices and people we turn to that give us hope and comfort in anxious times. Prayer, friends, family, spending time in nature, and music come to mind. All of these are important to me, and this song, for me, is like a prayer, so I turn to…

I arrived here at Chicago’s O’Hare airport this morning just as the sun was rising. I cleared security quickly and now have some unexpected extra time at my gate. As I am writing this, I am observing an efficient team of workers servicing the plane I am about to board. They are checking the air pressure of the tires, adding fuel, loading luggage, and doing various other service checks. As I sit here, I am beyond grateful for their work and wish I could somehow communicate my appreciation. I am also grateful for the people who work at the hotel I stayed at last night, that made my stay possible, the multitude of people who make up the cleaning and desk staff, the managers, the people who order and prepare the breakfast food, the list goes on and on. And I’m also thankful for the shuttle driver and for the…

Have you ever had a time where you have several conversations, and they all seem to revolve around a similar theme? I had that experience this week in my private life, my life as a therapist, and in my work with our Living Compass, where we are running an online Facebook group for Lent. Letting go kept coming up in al three of these contexts. Here is a summary of what others, as well as myself, had to say about what they are working on letting go of at this time in their lives: The past, especially past regrets An unhealthy relationship My expectations of others Living up to other’s expectations of me Thinking I am responsible for things for which I am clearly not responsible. Trying to please others My timing for how things should unfold Procrastination Worry Overindulging with food or alcohol Spending too much money Grudges My…

All of the world’s major religions have some version of the teaching, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That teaching is certainly at the core of my own spirituality, and I strive (but often fall short) to live out this ideal every day. I imagine the same is true for many of the readers of this column. Some time ago, as I was reflecting on this teaching about loving your neighbor as yourself, it occurred to me that, in fact, this is precisely what most of us do. We actually do love them as we love ourselves. Last week I wrote about self-compassion and how our well-being is enhanced when we can tame our inner critic, and then truly feel love and acceptance toward ourselves. A common reaction I get when I write or talk about self-compassion and self-care is questioning whether what I’m talking about is encouraging someone to become…

My wife and have spent the last two days working at the Adolescent Health Conference in Madison, Wisconsin. Two hundred professionals—school counselors, teachers, psychotherapists, physicians, and case managers—attend this annual conference put on by the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. Our Samaritan Family Wellness Foundation is honored to support this conference as a sponsor, as well as being presenters. The secular division of our foundation creates teen, parent, and adult resources for the professionals who are on the front lines working with the mental health challenges face by young people and their families today. The need is more significant than ever because the mental health challenges in our young people are great. One of the benefits of being at a health and wellness conference is the opportunity to learn from the experience and expertise of other presenters. A workshop on the benefits of helping teens to develop mindful self-compassion skills was the…

Recent concerns about the coronavirus remind us of just how connected we all are to each other, and how quickly a virus can spread. Here in the North, it is winter, which means it is also cold and flu season. This means that on any given day, we are either the one with a cold or we are likely encountering someone that has a cold. So the question that is never far from our minds is, “Am I or is he/she—contagious?” When I have a cold, I certainly never intentionally want to spread it to others. At the same time, though, I sometimes am so excited to see someone that I haven’t seen for a while that I hug them or shake their hand without thinking. I have also been known to show up at work when I am sick, only to be sent home by colleagues who rightfully request…

I have spent more time jumping on a trampoline in the last three months than I have in the previous sixty-four years of my life. The gift of all these visits to an indoor trampoline park has come via my grandchildren. I cannot thank them enough for both the uncontrollable laughter we have experienced, as well as introducing me to such a wild place where I have relearned an essential lesson during all the hours we have spent bouncing together. In the midst of our fun, I have discovered that when you are bouncing on a trampoline, you cannot possibly think about anything else other than, well, bouncing on a trampoline. It takes every ounce of my concentration to be sure that I do not lose my balance, drift too close to the edge, or stumble over my grandchildren. There is not a care or worry I could possibly think…

Regular readers of this column know that I am an avid baseball fan, and so it broke my heart to learn of the cheating scandal that has come to light this past week. What some players and managers connected to the Houston Astros 2017 team hoped would remain a secret came out in full detail this week, and the news has cost three team managers and one general manager their jobs. Rather than debating the particular details of how this all came to be, I am more interested here in the universal wellness lesson that we can learn from this unfortunate example of secrets and dishonesty. Being dishonest and keeping that secret can actually make a person sick. As two related quotes from Twelve-Step programs remind us: “Your secrets keep you sick,” and “We are only as sick as our secrets.” I heard another saying this week (thanks to my…